Jokes

A Blonde, Brunette and Redhead

A brunette, a red-haired woman, and a blonde were competing in the Olympics in the breaststroke 50 meters swimming race.

As the three women lined up to start the race at the edge of the pool, the official fired his start gun and the ladies leaped into the water, swimming furiously.

After about one minute, the red-haired woman finished first, emerging on the other side of the pool as the brunette woman swam close behind her, placing second.

About two minutes later, the blonde woman finally finished.

Although exhausted, she was thrilled with her third place medal.

Later, she confided in her training coach that she thought the other women had cheated because they used their arms.

This is joke from my english book. Is not bad

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,
"He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich "Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich...?
That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich.
Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback

I think the Chinese won't take this too serious. It just make me laugh out loud for the first time I read....

One day an Operator of a company receives a call....

Operator: Hello.

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan
(anyone)! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But
what's this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother
Noel Wan (no one)?as involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got
injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the
hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

Good joke and at the same time it is very helpful for us.

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.

"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"

"Wrong number," replied the girl.

It reminds me another joke on the phone, that one was about two Englishmen, with names John Watt (what) and Will Knot (will not).

What's you name? Watt's my name?
What? Watt.
........

Will you tell me your name? Will Knot.
Why not? Knot.

Etc...

I suppose there are lots of jokes and there is a way to avoid these situations - to spell your name!

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

joke

black man x white man

black man:
When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in sun, I black.
When I cold, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.

but you,,

When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go in sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you green :&
When you bruised, you purple
And when you die, you gray.

So who you callin' colored?

A man was walking along th street when he found a penguin walking along the road.
So he picked it up and took it to the local police station.

He said to the policeman "I found this penguin on the street. What should I do with it?"

The policeman looked at the man and said "It's obvious what you should
do with it! Take the penguin to Zoo.

The man said "Of course, I'll take it to the zoo" and he left the police
station with the penguin under his arm.

The next day the policeman was on duty in the city centre when he saw
the man walking along the street with the penguin by his side. The policeman stopped the man and said "I thought I told you to take the penguin to the zoo?"

The man replied "Yes, I took it to the zoo yesterday. Today I'm taking it to see the Opera House."

A little boy returned home from school and told his father that he
had failed the maths test.

His father asked him, "Why did you fail?"

The boy replied, "The teacher asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?' and I said
'3 x 2 is 6'."

"Well, that's right" said his father.

The little boy continued, "Then she asked me 'How much is 2 x 3?"

"What the hell is the difference?" asked the father.

The son replied, "That's exactly what I said to my teacher and that's
why I failed the maths test.

Man: Doctor, Doctor I've lost my memory!
Doctor: When did this happen?
Man: When did what happen?

it is a very funny when i read it i laugh much

luv it...